Creating an online dating profile can feel a little like writing a résumé for your love life. You want to stand out, but also be authentic. You want to show your best self, without looking like you’re trying too hard. The good news is: a well-crafted profile can do a lot of the heavy lifting for you. Here’s how to write one that attracts the kind of connection you’re looking for.
1. Start With a Strong Opening Line
The first sentence of your profile is your hook. Instead of something generic like “I’m fun and easy-going,” start with a detail or a glimpse of your personality. For example:
“Saturday mornings usually find me biking the seawall with a coffee in hand.”
“I have a soft spot for dogs that are bigger than I am.”
This draws people in with something concrete and memorable.
2. Show, Don’t Tell
Instead of listing adjectives (“I’m kind, adventurous, funny”), bring them to life with examples. For instance:
Don’t just say: “I love to travel.”
Try: “My favorite trip so far was hiking through the Dolomites in Italy, where I learned that espresso tastes better at 6,000 feet.”
Stories stick; lists don’t.
3. Be Clear About What You’re Looking For
Profiles that get results are intentional. You don’t need a long wish list, but give people a sense of what you’re seeking. For example:
“I’m looking for a partner who values deep conversations and isn’t afraid to laugh at themselves.”
“Someone who’s as happy staying in with a book as they are heading out to explore a new city.”
This helps filter out mismatches before the first message.
4. Balance Honesty With Positivity
Your profile should reflect the real you, but in its most engaging light. Instead of saying “I hate drama,” flip it into the positive: “I value kindness and calm.” Instead of “Don’t message me if you’re not serious,” say: “I’m interested in building something meaningful.”
People are drawn to warmth and optimism.
5. Get Your Photos Right
Even the best-written profile won’t land if your photos aren’t thoughtful. A good set includes:
One clear headshot (smiling, natural light is best).
One full-length photo.
A candid “in-action” photo (doing something you love—hiking, cooking, painting).
Avoid heavy filters, group shots where it’s unclear who you are, or overly staged images.
6. Keep It Concise but Complete
Profiles that ramble lose attention, but too short can seem careless. Aim for a few paragraphs that highlight your personality, interests, and what you’re looking for. Think of it as a conversation starter, not a life story.
7. Edit and Ask for Feedback
Typos can be a dealbreaker. Proofread your profile and, if you feel comfortable, ask a trusted friend to review it. Sometimes others see strengths in us that we forget to highlight.
Final Thoughts
Your dating profile is an invitation, not a sales pitch. The goal isn’t to attract everyone—just the right ones. Be genuine, be specific, and be clear about what matters most to you. When you do, you’ll filter out mismatches and spark connections with people who are aligned with who you truly are.
And if you find yourself stuck or noticing patterns in relationships that aren’t serving you, therapy can be a powerful place to explore what’s getting in the way of deeper connection. If you’d like support, you can book a session with me here.